June 19, 2007
We have been keeping busy the past few weeks here. Christopher finished the school year the first week of June. We decided to take a little vacation the day after. We spent the next 5 days in Captiva on the West Coast of Florida. What a beautiful place that was. We did enjoy ourselves and met some really nice people while there. The beaches were beautiful, filled with shells, the dolphins made an appearance everyday, the fishing was fun, and the sunsets were incredible. It was almost perfect. The only problem is everything we do and everywhere we go we are missing a very important part of our family which will always make things less than perfect for us.
It is hard to believe that it has been 4 months since I held my daughter in my arms but it has. Time is such a difficult thing when going through an illness or grieving after a death. Four months feels like an eternity. I still can't believe she is gone but when the waves of reality come it is like being kicked in the gut. How could this be and why is it happening, those are two questions I ask myself everyday with no answer in sight. We all seem to be thinking about her more everyday. The memories come with everything we do and everywhere we go. Samantha is so missed words can not express the aching hearts we hold.
I find myself getting angry, angry for my sons. Christopher has been through so much, why does he have to grow up without his sister who he adored. They were the best of friends and the closest of siblings it is so unfair. At times he seems so lonely, it rips at our hearts even more. Jason on the other hand will not even have the chance to build any kind of relationship with his big sister which is so unfair to him. He has been cheated. And then of course Kurt and I feel like we have been robbed. Why is it that we will not get to see our 7 year old daughter turn 8, or enter into high school, go to her prom, college... etc. Why was she not able to grow up with her family where she was so happy. The little girl loved life like no other, she was so amazing.
Every morning when we get up we light a candle for Samantha, if you go to this website http://www.gratefulness.org/candles/enter.cfm?l=eng
you can light a candle for any reason. We seem to find some peace in it so we thought we would share it and hope it brings some comfort to others as well.
Another website I would like to share with you is one that has been created by parents who lost their son JJ to a brain tumor this year as well. This website was created to raise money/awareness for pediatric Brain tumor research. It is also a great resource for families. It has the links to the kids still fighting their "monsters" as well as links to those who have lost their battle. Any of you who shop on line can go on the website and through certain stores a percentage of your spending will be donated to this cause http://www.icouldbeyourchild.org/.
In addition, one more website that we hope you will explore is
http://capwiz.com/curesearch/issues/alert/?alertid=9592626. This website will walk you through steps on composing a letter to your local senator about S.911 which is "The Conquer Childhood Cancer Act of 2007", we need all the signatures we can get to help our/your children. It should not be okay that families like ourselves to walk into a place like St. Jude or any other pediatric cancer institute and be told that they have limited time left with their precious children and there is nothing that can be done to stop the deadly disease. It is wrong and it is far from okay. I hope you all take the time to look at this and send a letter in, it just may save a childs life.
Once again we would like to thank everyone who continues to be by our side through these difficult times. No words can express the gratitude we feel for you.
With love,
Audra, Kurt, Christopher, & Jason
We have been keeping busy the past few weeks here. Christopher finished the school year the first week of June. We decided to take a little vacation the day after. We spent the next 5 days in Captiva on the West Coast of Florida. What a beautiful place that was. We did enjoy ourselves and met some really nice people while there. The beaches were beautiful, filled with shells, the dolphins made an appearance everyday, the fishing was fun, and the sunsets were incredible. It was almost perfect. The only problem is everything we do and everywhere we go we are missing a very important part of our family which will always make things less than perfect for us.
It is hard to believe that it has been 4 months since I held my daughter in my arms but it has. Time is such a difficult thing when going through an illness or grieving after a death. Four months feels like an eternity. I still can't believe she is gone but when the waves of reality come it is like being kicked in the gut. How could this be and why is it happening, those are two questions I ask myself everyday with no answer in sight. We all seem to be thinking about her more everyday. The memories come with everything we do and everywhere we go. Samantha is so missed words can not express the aching hearts we hold.
I find myself getting angry, angry for my sons. Christopher has been through so much, why does he have to grow up without his sister who he adored. They were the best of friends and the closest of siblings it is so unfair. At times he seems so lonely, it rips at our hearts even more. Jason on the other hand will not even have the chance to build any kind of relationship with his big sister which is so unfair to him. He has been cheated. And then of course Kurt and I feel like we have been robbed. Why is it that we will not get to see our 7 year old daughter turn 8, or enter into high school, go to her prom, college... etc. Why was she not able to grow up with her family where she was so happy. The little girl loved life like no other, she was so amazing.
Every morning when we get up we light a candle for Samantha, if you go to this website http://www.gratefulness.org/candles/enter.cfm?l=eng
you can light a candle for any reason. We seem to find some peace in it so we thought we would share it and hope it brings some comfort to others as well.
Another website I would like to share with you is one that has been created by parents who lost their son JJ to a brain tumor this year as well. This website was created to raise money/awareness for pediatric Brain tumor research. It is also a great resource for families. It has the links to the kids still fighting their "monsters" as well as links to those who have lost their battle. Any of you who shop on line can go on the website and through certain stores a percentage of your spending will be donated to this cause http://www.icouldbeyourchild.org/.
In addition, one more website that we hope you will explore is
http://capwiz.com/curesearch/issues/alert/?alertid=9592626. This website will walk you through steps on composing a letter to your local senator about S.911 which is "The Conquer Childhood Cancer Act of 2007", we need all the signatures we can get to help our/your children. It should not be okay that families like ourselves to walk into a place like St. Jude or any other pediatric cancer institute and be told that they have limited time left with their precious children and there is nothing that can be done to stop the deadly disease. It is wrong and it is far from okay. I hope you all take the time to look at this and send a letter in, it just may save a childs life.
Once again we would like to thank everyone who continues to be by our side through these difficult times. No words can express the gratitude we feel for you.
With love,
Audra, Kurt, Christopher, & Jason
posted by HopeForSamantha @ 10:51 AM
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