Hope for Samantha

Monday, May 21, 2007

May 21, 2007

We have just passed the 3 month anniversary of Samantha's passing. We have been told that this is when things usually get tougher and I have to say they have. We all had a really tough week last week. Christopher is really missing his sister, his best friend, and it breaks my already broken heart to see him feeling so down. Kurt and I are feeling the reality of what life has handed us more than we were. Missing Samantha's beautiful smile and cheerful personality everyday just touches the surface of the pain we are feeling. The longing to hold our daughter, brush her hair, paint her nails, or tuck her safely into bed at night is such an unbearable feeling of sadness. Somehow we have to work through it and we will I just haven't figured out how.

At school last week Christopher had Earth day. They started the day out with a tree planting in memory of Samantha. It was so touching and we really appreciate the thoughtfulness of everyone at Liberty for this dedication. Our neighborhood has placed a bench in memory of Samantha in our circle which was also very thoughtful and so much appreciated. (I will post pictures of both as soon as I can).

We have found two families that we are helping with the proceeds from the golf outing. One is a little girl, Shelby, who is 2 years old and is fighting her battle with the same brain tumor Samantha had (anaplastic astrocytoma). Shelby is having scans this week and we ask everyone to say a prayer for her and her family that they receive good news.
The other child is a little 2 year old boy named Max. Max has neuroblastoma, which is also cancer. He is also having scans this week and prayers for him and his family are needed as well.

It is a good feeling to be able to help these families and having been where they are I know how much it means to them. Once again I would like to thank everyone involved in organizing, attending, or donating to the golf outing which made it possible for us to make a difference for these children. We hope to see you there again next year, I will post the date for that soon as well. Thank you for checking in and continuing to be by our side.
With love,
Audra, Kurt, Christopher, & Jason

Friday, May 04, 2007

As I just updated the website 2 days ago I just wanted to share a poem that I read on another website of a beautiful little girl who was taken by this dreaded "monster". I thought it was touching and would like to pass it along to all the other mothers suffering the loss of a child on Mother's day:

Dear Mr. Hallmark
I am writing to you from heaven, and though it must appear
A rather strange idea, I see everything from here.
I just popped in to visit your stores to find a card,
A card of love for my mother, as this day for her is so hard.
There must be some mistake I thought, every card you can imagine, Except I could not find a card
from a child who lives in heaven.
She is still my mother, too, no matter where I reside. I had to leave she understands, but oh the tears she cried. I thought that if I wrote you, that you would come to know
That though I live in Heaven now, I still love my mother so.
She talks with me, and dreams with me, we still share laughter, too. Memories are our way of speaking now.
Would you see what you could do?
My mother carries me in her heart, her tears she hides from sight. She writes me poems to honor me,
sometimes far into the night.
She plants flowers in my garden, there my living memory dwells. She writes to other grieving parents,
Trying to ease their pain as well.
She needs to be honored, and remembered too.
Just as the children of earth will do. Thank you, Mr Hallmark,
I know you'll do your best, I have done all I can do. To you I'll leave the rest.
Find a way to tell her how much she means to me
Until I can do it for myself when she joins me for eternity.

Tuesday, May 01, 2007

May 1, 2007

We have received many emails and notes thanking us for keeping everybody up to date on how things are going for us, it is so nice that so many people are thinking of us and checking in and we wanted to thank you all for that.

We have been keeping busy the best we can. The past two fridays we have attended Relay for Life events. This past week was the walk in Sebastian. We were so touched by all the Lumanarees made by the children from Christopher & Samantha's school in Memory of Samantha. They did such a nice job on the bags, it really touched our hearts. A big thank you to all you special kids!!

On Saturday our church had a special "Mass of Memories" for families that have lost a loved one in the past six months. It was a beautiful candle light ceremony, again it really touched our hearts and we were very thankful to be there.

While we were at the Mass friends of ours were holding a yard sale benefit at the church where Samantha attended pre-school. The kindness, hard work, and generousity of many made the day a successful one. We really appreciate all you did and for continuing to think of us. A special thank you to all involved.

As the days have been busy the emptiness doesn't seem to lessen. It is everywhere that we go and everything that we do that I find myself or Kurt saying "Samantha would have loved this", or this is nice but we are missing part of our family. Those feelings that come over us are so painful. We miss you so much princess.

Christopher is keeping busy with soccer and has now been practicing for the schools track meet tomorrow. He was thrilled to make the team and is really looking forward to that. Jason is getting so big so fast. He is a real mix between Christopher and Samantha. When he smiles his whole face smiles just like his big sisiter.

We are working on finding families in unfortunate similiar situations as we were in to help with the proceeds from the golf outing. It is heartbreaking how many lives are turned upside down by this "monster". We do look forward to being able to make a difference for these families and again thanks to all that attended/donated this year. We will keep you updated on those your caring hearts have helped.

Thank you all again for all you have done and continue to do for us. It is just not possible to put into words how grateful we are to all of you for being by our side.

With love,
Audra, Kurt, Christopher, & Jason